MISSING LINKS

2025  STATISTICS

🏆 November Mug Update – Mark’s Attempted Hostile Takeover (and Bill’s No-Show)

The November Mug at The Glades, launched at the ungodly hour of 6:00am, and straight off the bat we knew one thing for certain:
Kirbs wasn’t coming.

To be fair, the bloke is currently on vacation in South Africa.
To be real, even if he were in the next suburb he still wouldn’t have made a 6am tee time.
So really, geography made no practical difference.

⛳ The Host Member… Who Didn’t Host

Now we get to Bill — our designated host member for the course.

Bill had a very busy schedule:

• Working at Hamilton Island
• Playing Dent Island
• Doing anything except hosting the Mug he booked for 6am

Given Hamilton Island has an airport and flights, we’re pretty confident he could’ve made it back if he really wanted to.
But hey — island golf > the lads.
As host, he absolutely deserves the spray.

⛳ The Golf (aka Mark’s Multi-Event Sweep)

🥇 Winner – Mark (38pts, HCP 9)
Mark turned up with the type of scorecard that clearly suggests one or all of the following occurred:

1. Found Jesus,
2. Found a new illegal driver, or
3. Found the fairway many, many times!!

4 birdies, 4 bogeys and a stack of boring pars.
He didn’t just win the Mug — he went on a one-man sweep, picking up:

• Longest Drive
• Strike
• Probably the keys to the club if anyone left them lying around.

🥈 2nd – Simon (37pts, HCP 11)
Simon was one lip-out away from glory…
…then another lip-out…
…and then another…
Back-to-back 3-putts torched:

• the Mug
• the Strike
• the dignity
• AND delivered him the Snake

He did win NTP on 17, but that prize is now property of the Snake Treasury Department.

🥉 3rd – Gav (32pts, HCP 4)
Gav casually grabbed 3rd — but more importantly, with the 5 championship points…
he has completely locked all of us out of the annual championship.
Door sealed.
Welded.
Cemented.
Buried under a concrete slab thicker than his new Kooralbyn garage floor!

⛳ 🐍 Snake Recipients (aka The Shame Spiral)

• Simon – double 3-putt meltdown special
• Clint – determined to “win” something
• Noah – which, as tradition now dictates, means Steve cops it in the wallet

💥Fineable Moments – A bit light on for idiocy, but still…..

1. Stevie-D’s Hypocrisy Throw (Double Fine)
Stevie-D roasted the bloke in front for tossing a club…
…then promptly tossed his own club less than a minute later.
A beautiful, Shakespearean arc.
Double fine mandatory.

2. Attempted Murder (Ankle-Height Edition)
Noah unleashed a missile that skimmed (dribbled) in at approximately ankle height, which while not strictly very dangerous, still counts as attempted murder under Missing Links Law.

Thus:
Two more charges for Team Steve.

🎯 Extras

• Nearest the Pin – Simon (profit immediately seized to pay Snake fines)
• Longest Drive – Mark (of course it was)

⛳ Final Thoughts

Kirbs was in SA but would’ve missed the tee time anyway.
Bill was on Hamilton Island pretending to work and pretending harder not to come back.
Mark won just about everything in sight – lucky there are not more months else Gav would be rightly nervous.
Simon putted like the greens were lava.
Ryan finished unlucky 7th and had the shits with everyone and everything
Steve and Noah committed multiple misdemeanours and quasi-felonies.
🐴💩 Clint didn’t just win the Snake – he secured the full Horse’s Arse honour as well, completing the highly respected Snake–Arse Double.

All up: a perfect Missing Links Mug.

😘🍻

⛳ Final Mug for 2025

As tradition demands, the grand finale Mug is rolling into Kooralbyn and it’s only days away now, lads – Super-exciting – well, aside from the weekend itself, and because Gav so convincingly closed out the annual championship last weekend, we are now excited about the GREEN JACKET now!!!

FRIDAY 5th of December is officially locked in, so cancel your meetings, set expectations with your families and prep your livers.

• Be at The Outpost Cafe, Canungra by 0800 (earlier if you’re thirsty) for brekky, banter, first 🍻and the highly libelous, but deeply respected, Players’ Form Guide.
• We roll out of Canungra no later than 0815 or you’re finding your own way to Kooralbyn.
• First group is off the 1st tee at 1100.
• On arrival we report directly to the Presi Suite balcony where Bill and Blake will “do their jobs” 🍻 and somehow work out the teams for the weekend.

DON’T BE LATE TO CANUNGRA